11 Things That’ll Change Your Life.
1. Trust your gut. About people, places, and things. If the energy is off something is off - if it feels good trust that. Know that choosing to ignore these signs is a sign of self-betrayal and lack of self-trust. Intuition will guide you towards the things meant for you and your life path. Here’s the thing, intuition is like a muscle, you’ve got to train it in order for it to get stronger… “So how do I do that?” Meditation, prayer, asking for signs, being more present, and having faith. Intuition is your inner voice and guidance and it’s given to you by God. So why do we ignore it? Because we’ve live in a society that loves telling us what’s wrong with us and let’s us think that other people know what is best for us. Outside voices > Inner voices. Bull Fucking Shit. If you can’t hear it, try spending some time alone… If you can quiet other peoples voices, you’ll be able to hear your own. It’s a practice. You don’t need advice, you need to learn how to advise yourself.
2. Ask for what you want and say what you mean. Like, I’m totally serious. Have courage. If you never ask for you want, you’re for sure never going to get it. And I’m a HUGE believer in that if you ask for what you want and are told “no”, you’re asking the wrong people. “How do I know what I want?”, see above about trusting your gut. Trusting your gut is about finding your voice, and asking for what you want is about using your voice. Additionally, if you’re beating around the bush, you’re wasting time and energy - be direct. What I’ve learned is that if you aren’t direct the first time, you’re just going to have to revisit the conversation at a later time. BARFFFFFF. I know it’s hard AND I believe that our spirit is going to ask us to do hard things in order to grow. YAY! GROWTH.
3. Set goals and be selfish about achieving them. Periodt. Only 8% of people set goals and an even smaller amount of those people know how to set goals that work. Do yourself a favor and learn how to set some goals. And if you don’t know where to start get yourself a coach. If you wanted to learn a new sport you’d get a coach, right? Enjoy where you’re at, know that you are enough and there is nothing wrong with wanting more and/or working your ass off for something you really want. With direction and determination a ton of things are possible, and it all starts with believing that you can do it and that you’re deserving of it.
[please refer to items I & II above about knowing what you want and asking for it. Are we seeing a trend yet?]
4. Coffee isn’t a replacement for rest. I said what I said. We weren’t meant to go 24/7. Most, BUT NOT ALL, anxiety can be attributed to lack of rest, dehydration, and an overconsumption of caffeine. Want to be more creative? Rest. Want to be able to hear your intuition? Rest. Want to have better sex? Rest. Rest, water, a proper diet, and movement will change your life.
5. You can be enough and still want more. The yoga world has taught us that “we are enough”, which is true but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t want better for yourself. Stop settling for people, places, things, and ideas that aren’t aligned with your higher self. It’s like now we feel guilty for striving for better. Fuck that. Learn to appreciate where you’re at, who you are, but also know that there is nothing wrong with wanting something better. It’s growth, it’s progression, and it’s fucking real. If you walk around constantly feeling like “well this is good enough” you aren’t living in potential. BTW settling-down doesn’t mean that you settle.
6. Choosing yourself can be really lonely. But what is even more lonely is never knowing yourself. Choosing to stand up for yourself, setting boundaries, and working on goals will require you to cut people, places, and things out of your life that aren’t aligned with the new version of yourself. Until you’re selfish, you’ll never truly be able to be selfless. Brene Brown said “if you trade your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following: anxiety, depression, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, and inexplicable grief”. Also, if you haven’t read any of her work, that’s a great place to start; I recommend “The Gifts of Imperfection”, it’s a great starter piece and I swear to God that it’ll change your life. Basically what I’m trying to say is that the moment you decide to be yourself you’re gonna lose a ton of people, places, and things that were apart of your constructed self. Tear it down, you can always rebuild. Allow yourself to be lonely for a while, not forever. I’d rather be alone than surrounded by a ton of people I have to perform for. K bye.
7. Have empathy. We’re all people trying to get through this thing called life. Try to put yourself in someone else’s shoes for a moment. If I don’t quote this right IDGAF because it doesn’t really matter but the saying is something like “everyone is fighting their own battle, be kind”. Well it’s true. I’m guilty. You’re guilty. At times we’re all guilty of taking things so personally that we forget that how people treat us and what they do really has nothing to do with us and everything to do with their life experiences. Don’t feel bad for them, just try to feel how they must be feeling. If you can brighten someones day, do it. Smile at strangers, give compliments, tell people how much they mean to you. Life is too short to go through it not doing the best you can to make someone feel good; I’m not perfect, but every single day I can honestly say that I try to make someone feel better about themselves. Sympathy is feeling bad for someone // empathy is seeing someone for being a human and trying to understand why they might do things.
8. Purpose > passion. Passion is what you like to do on the weekends with your free time - purpose is what you can do to help others. Find your purpose and follow it, let your passion fuel you. As a society I think we’ve done a great job at evolving from the typical 9-5 for 30+ years into a society that follows their passion, alas American culutre is experiencing more burnout than ever. I can remember reading something in college like “follow your passion and you’ll ever work a day in your life” and thinking “wow, that is so cool, lets do that!”, but what they don’t tell you is that what you’re passionate about changes over time and then all of a sudden you’re in this career based of your passion being like “WTF”, facing burnout and feeling lost about what to do. And while I am so beyond grateful that I was able to follow my passion and make a career out of it, as time went on that fire that once burned so bright dimmed because well, for one, I was fucking tired, and two I had nothing to fill my cup with. I started to realize that it wasn’t the workouts that drew me to being a fitness professional, it was always about making people feel better about themselves. This was my purpose. Your passion will often lead you to your purpose… ya just gotta think bigger. Ask yourself “what is it about this passion that I love and what does that really mean?”.
9. Your relationship with yourself will influence every decision you make. From the food you eat, to the people you hang out with, how you feel about yourself will influence how your treat yourself and how you let others treat you. It’s an awful cycle. Toxic behavior leads to feeling bad about yourself and then because you feel bad about yourself you do more toxic things. The cycle begins and ends with first becoming aware of the cycle and then making a conscious decision to make a change. I guarantee that once you start ditching the toxic behaviors you’re going to start to feel better about yourself which will lead you to making more empowered choices. Healthy self-esteem is something that everyone deserves. The best teacher I’ve ever had once told me that we don’t have a problem with violence in the United States, we have an issue with low self-esteem. If everyone felt better about themselves there would be less projection onto others. What are you doing to feel better about yourself?
10. Know when to call it quits. It’ll be hard but it’ll be worth it. There is a difference between knowing what’s worth it and when your addiction to your own suffering is responsible for your choice.
11. They’re going to judge you based on whatever decision you make so you might as well choose the one that makes you happy. BIG FACTS.